Insane Read online

  I was on step fifteen, standing in the shimmer of light, close enough to the doors to see the stone steps that led into the building, and the driveway that snaked its way to my target – the gates. Then I heard footsteps. Fast, like someone was running. Getting closer and closer.

  I froze, half-hoping it was a nurse or guard, because at least that would be better than the screaming lunatic. Chester was still next to me, looking a little more solid in the light – less like a smudge of luminescent chalk on a chalkboard. I could see the glitter of fear in his eyes.

  The footsteps were still coming – coming from behind and to my right. I turned, my eyes desperately scanning the darkness, and I finally spotted the figure coming toward me. No more than a blurry shadow, I couldn’t even tell if it was male or female, but it was running toward the doors, weaving slightly. My heart was a jackhammer in my chest, and my breathing rasped in my ears as I watched the lunatic close in, unable to force myself to move.

  Finally, the person stumbled into the hazy light, and I could make out that it was a male. The screaming had definitely been female, so at least it wasn’t the same lunatic.

  The guy was looking behind him as he ran, which explained why he was weaving – not watching where he was going. He nearly ran right into me without even a glance, and before I knew what I was doing, I stuck out my arm to keep him from running right into the glass doors. He jumped, whirling on me, and swung out a fist. I jerked back and his knuckles sailed through the air just an inch from my face.

  I held up my hands in surrender. “Whoa. It’s okay! It’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you!”

  The guy was panting, and he bent over, bracing his hands on his thighs. When I took a wary step closer, he stumbled back a step, lifting his fist again. But then he paused, lowering his hand. Callie?

  I blinked. “Casey?” I leaned forward as he brushed his hair back off his face. In the dim lighting, I could just make out his features. I laughed in relief. “Thank God it’s only you. I thought I was about to be attacked.” I stepped forward again, and he stepped back, raising a palm toward me. For a second I frowned, confused. Then I realized he probably couldn’t read my lips in the darkness. He wasn’t sure it was me. I smiled and thought back at him, It’s okay. It’s me.

  His shoulders slumped, and he lowered his hands. Jesus, you scared the crap out of me, Callie.

  I snorted. Uh, ditto.

  He grinned, white teeth flashing in the darkness. It only lasted a second, and then his eyes darted to Chester. I turned, realizing I hadn’t actually officially introduced them to each other the first time they were in the same room. But the space next to me was empty – Chester was gone. I frowned and turned back to Casey to see he was watching me, his eyes turned colorless by the directionless glow coming through the doors. What are you doing down here anyway? he asked.

  Playing sharky-in-the-dark. You should join in, I thought sarcastically. He scowled. I rolled my eyes. What do you think I’m doing? I’m escaping. I held up the key I’d snatched from the reception desk.

  Casey lunged forward and grabbed my wrist, and I jerked my eyes up to his, startled. He shook his head. No, Callie. I looked back down at where his hand was on mine. His fingers curled around my wrist, firm but careful. He plucked the key from my fingers with his other hand. Then, slowly, he uncurled one finger at a time, and I pulled my hand back, confused by the way my heart was pounding. It had to be because he’d scared me, grabbing me like that. It couldn’t have anything to do with the intense way he was looking at me.

  I swallowed, wishing Chester hadn’t disappeared. Suddenly, being alone in the dark with this strange boy I barely knew felt…intimate. I couldn’t quite meet his gaze, feeling my pulse jittering in my throat. I was sort of thankful I could talk to him telepathically, because I couldn’t be sure of the steadiness of my voice while he was looking at me like that. No? What do you mean, no? Why not? I don’t belong here. I want out, and this is my best chance.

  He pressed his lips together, and I could just make out his expression in the anaemic light. He looked…concerned. I didn’t understand why. Think about it, Callie. If you get caught trying to escape, they’ll put you in Solitary and drug you up to the gills. The more you act out, the harder you try to escape, the longer they’ll keep you here. Believe me, the best way to get out of here is to just do what they want. Behave, smile, socialize, and you’ll be free in no time.

  I stared at him. Shadows cloaked his face, darkening his eyes and collecting in the hollows under his cheekbones and throat. It made him look a little scary. Believe you? I thought, I don’t know you. Why should I believe you?

  A small, bitter smile curved his lips, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he took my hand and placed the key on my palm. Confused, I frowned at him, closing my fingers around the little piece of metal. He just shrugged. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why a guy I’d just met – in a psych hospital of all places – would care if I escaped or not.

  He turned his face to the glass, looking out, and the light caught his eyes, making them blaze green. His jaw was set. Believe me, or don’t. I don’t really care. Just trying to save you some time, he said flatly.

  Just then, the lights flickered back to life, blinding me. It was so bright after the intense darkness that my eyes burned and watered, and I had to blink a few times before I could see clearly again.

  By the time I could see again, Casey had turned and started walking away. I looked around the lobby area, with its round, marble-topped reception desk and tasteful art hung on the pale gold walls and the row of wheelchairs by the doors. Signs dangled from the ceiling with little arrows pointing to the café area, the elevators, the visiting area.

  For some reason, I’d expected it to be wrecked after the blackout, like a storm had come through and tossed the place. But all of it was pretty and shiny and expensive. And more importantly, empty of people, except for me and Casey.

  As if he’d heard me think his name – which he might’ve for all I knew – he turned, looking at me over his shoulder with his brows raised expectantly. Are you coming? he asked. I looked down at the key in my hand, rubbed my thumb over it. I don’t know why I hesitated. I should have just ignored him, stuck the key in the lock, and run. But I didn’t.

  Instead, I shoved the key into my bra for safe-keeping, hoping nobody would notice it was gone, and stepped away from the doors. My footsteps echoed quietly as I made my way across the stone-floored lobby to Casey, who was waiting for me patiently by the stairwell door. When I reached him, he was smiling. I scowled. What are you smiling at?

  He tilted his head, and strands of auburn hair fell across his forehead. Just thinking that you’re pretty easy to figure out. He looked smug, and I glared at him, not sure what he meant by that.

  Then I glanced at the doors, and I understood. Did you just use reverse psychology on me?

  His smile widened into a grin. I figured that telling you not to escape would only push you to do it, and by saying you could do whatever you wanted, you’d be more likely to make the smart choice.

  I stared at him for a second. And then I punched him in the arm, which only succeeded in making him grin more, his shoulders quivering like he really wanted to laugh. In my irritation, I forgot to speak telepathically. “Don’t head-shrink me! I get enough of that from Dr. Moore. Ugh!” I flung my hands up, and then crossed my arms over my chest.

  Aw, you’re cute when you sulk, he teased. I felt heat rise to my cheeks, but I forced my expression to go hard.

  Do you want me to punch you again? Because next time, it’ll be the face.

  Ooh, nasty temper.

  That’s it. I unfolded my arms and aimed my fist for his face, not really planning on punching him, but just wanting to see him flinch. He didn’t. Instead, he grabbed my fist and swung me around, planting my back against the wall and pinning my hand. I gasped, startled, my eyes wide. My heart beat a rapid jig against my ribs as he looked down at me – damn, he was tall – with his e
yes shadowed by his hair falling forward.

  For a moment, he was so close, I couldn’t see his expression – just the gleam in his eyes, and the curve of his sooty lashes. I wondered if I’d set off some sort of defensive reaction to violence and he was now going to beat my head against the wall. I’d forgotten, for five minutes, that this was a freaking psych hospital and this boy, however normal he might seem – telepathy aside – obviously had some sort of mental condition, or else he wouldn’t be in here.

  But then, he pulled back, and his expression wasn’t one of whacked-out rage. He just looked sort of confused. Almost too soft for me to hear, which made me think I wasn’t really supposed to hear it, he whispered into my head, I won’t hurt you. Don’t be scared of me. The gentle vulnerability in that whisper made my chest ache, and I lifted my chin, trying to show him I wasn’t afraid of him.

  I really wasn’t. It wasn’t fear that was making my heart race, or butterflies dance in my stomach. He was so close, his body scarce inches from mine, and his hand still held mine to the wall. I could see the tiny flecks of brown and grey in his green eyes. The freckle at the corner of his left eyebrow. For a wild, impulsive moment, I wanted him to–

  “Bloody hell. Damn wiring. Spending all night rounding up lunatics when I should be home in bed,” a cursing voice floated across the lobby, and my head snapped around. It sounded like it was coming from the café area – there was another stairwell there, the Visitors’ Stairs, next to the bathrooms, that only led up as far as the Second Floor, where the visiting area was. Any second now, someone would round that corner and catch us here. This close to the main doors, they’d think we were trying to escape. I mean, I had been, but Casey hadn’t, and I didn’t want to get him punished for my stupidity.

  What? What is it? he asked, following my gaze, his brow furrowed.

  I looked up at him. A guard, I think. We’ve probably got less than fifteen seconds before he sees us. Actually, fifteen seconds was generous, but I didn’t add that.

  Shit. Into the stairwell. He moved back, still holding my wrist, and turned to push the bar on the door, but I tugged back to stop him. He scowled at me with confusion.

  I shook my head. We can’t. The power’s back on – the alarms will be working again. Dammit, I really hadn’t thought this through had I? I should have escaped. I should have bloody run for it. I could hear the guard’s footsteps now, and my panic must have shown on my face. Casey closed his eyes for a second, frustration ceasing his brow, like he was thinking hard. I darted a glance in the direction of the footsteps and saw the shadow rounding the corner ahead of the person.

  Then Casey’s hands were on my face, his thumbs over the corners of my lips, and I squeaked. What the–

  Just go with it. Before he’d even finished the sentence, he bent his head and put his mouth to mine. Because his thumbs were in the way, his lips just barely touched mine, but the almost unnoticeable brushes of his lower lip against my top one were enough to make lightning zip through my body. I reached up and slid my fingers into his hair, like I was holding him closer for passion’s sake, when really I was trying to angle him better so it would look more real to the guard who rounded the corner just a second later. Or, at least, I told myself that’s why I did it – it had nothing to do with the tingly feeling burning in my gut every time his breath skimmed across my parted lips.

  “Oi! You two! Break it up!” the guard shouted, and I sprang apart from Casey like he’d startled me. Feeling my face flame, I stared past Casey to the guard making his way toward us, and a little trickle of relief threaded through my panic and dulled the inexplicable heat in my stomach.

  “RJ,” I breathed. Well, if I was going to get caught, I’d rather get caught by him than one of the other guards.

  He squinted at me. “Callie? What are you doing out here?” he asked, and then quickly held up a hand. “No, don’t answer that. I think I can see what you were doing.” He shot a glance at Casey, who was looking suitably guilty for someone getting caught snogging another patient in the middle of a power-out. I tried to hide the smile twitching at my lips and failed.

  “Sorry,” I said to RJ. “We just thought we’d take advantage of the blackout. You know, since we’re constantly being watched in the common room, and patients aren’t allowed into each other’s rooms.”

  RJ made a face, running a hand over his cropped sandy-blonde hair. “I don’t need to know. But seriously, you two need to get back to your rooms. Now. Before someone less...understanding...comes along and finds you out of your rooms.”

  He moved to the stairwell door and pushed it open. No alarm went off, and my eyebrows went up. Of course. RJ noticed my expression of surprise and gave me a knowing look. “Don’t you go getting ideas, Callie. We’ve just turned off the alarms for right now so the guards can round up the patients quickly without setting them off. They’ll be fully operational again by tomorrow.”

  I smiled sweetly. “Me? Ideas? Never.”

  He snorted, holding open the door, motioning me and Casey through first. He followed us up the stairs and escorted us back to our rooms. My room was first, and when we stopped outside it, waiting for RJ to swipe his key card to unlock it – evidently once the power came back on, the locks re-engaged, although I could’ve sworn I’d left the door wide open – I locked eyes with Casey. One corner of his mouth tilted up slightly.

  Then RJ swung my door open, and I looked away to step inside.

  RJ closed the door and I heard his and Casey’s footsteps retreating down the hallway. I wondered momentarily where Casey’s room was. Then I shook away the thought. Why did I care? Answer: I didn’t. The boy was weird – hot, yes, but also weird. And likely crazy, though I hadn’t seen any evidence of that yet. This was so not the time or the place for a freakin’ crush.

  Even if he had sort of just saved my ass.

  The next day, everyone was plastered to the huge windows when I walked into the common room. RJ and a brunette nurse were busy trying to calm them and get them away from the window, but he wasn’t having much success. I muttered to Chester, “Wonder what the hell that’s about.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe someone saw a UFO.”

  Repressing a smile, I gave in to my curiosity and strolled over, snagging RJ’s arm. He turned to me, looking exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, and I wondered if he’d eventually gotten to go home at all last night. “Hey, Callie,” he murmured, taking a step away from the crowd at the window.

  “Hey. So what’s going on?” I asked, jerking my thumb at the patients with their faces glued to the glass. One of them started screaming and another guard rushed in to pull her away.

  RJ sighed and ran his hand over his short hair. “A patient died last night. We just discovered the body this morning. They’re taking her out on a stretcher.”

  “What?” I spun and went to look out. Behind me, RJ groaned, but I ignored him. I nudged my way in between Buzz and a girl who saw faeries everywhere. Looking down, I saw an ambulance parked in front of the hospital on the gravel drive. The back doors were open, and two men were lifting a stretcher with a long, black bag on it into the back. A horrible, cold chill skittered down my spine. Had that been the woman I’d heard screaming last night?

  Chester was next to me and I murmured to him, “Ches, what did you mean last night when you said the room felt dark?”

  He glanced at me, his hazel eyes flashing. “I didn’t mean the room. I meant the whole hospital.”

  I swallowed. “Okay. What did you mean, though, when you said, ‘it feels dark’?”

  He looked out the window, down at the encased body of the dead woman. “I can’t explain it. I just knew something bad was going to happen.”

  Backing away from the window, I slumped into a chair and looked up at RJ. “What happened to her?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not supposed to discuss this with any of the patients,” he said, sounding like he was reciting a line he’d said a dozen times already. I leaned back i
n my seat, folding my arms, and gave him an expectant look. He sighed again and dropped into the seat opposite me, rubbing a hand over his face. Keeping his voice low so nobody else would hear, he leaned forward and murmured, “We found her on the staircase. It looked like she’d fallen in the dark. Broke her neck.”

  I gasped, feeling sick. Next to me, Chester looked grim. I swallowed and wheezed, “The staircase? Which one?”

  RJ’s eyes narrowed. “The main one that runs all the way up the building.” My gut clenched, and I thought I might throw up. It must have been her I’d heard screaming, then. God, she’d been on the staircase with me and then…oh god. “Let me guess,” RJ said, “That’s the staircase you and your boyfriend used to get down to the lobby.”

  For a second, I thought he was talking about Chester, and I reflexively glanced at him. But then I remembered Casey and the fake making out. Figuring it would ruin our cover story to point out Casey wasn’t my boyfriend, I let it slide and instead nodded. “Yeah.”

  He shook his head, his expression angry. “Damn it, Callie. You could’ve been seriously hurt. That woman was dangerous – not to mention she died falling down those stairs. What if you’d fallen and ended up like her? What if your boyfriend had?” He put his head in his hands.

  “Casey,” I said.

  RJ looked up and scowled. “What?”

  “My…boyfriend,” I hesitated over the word awkwardly, struggling not to put it in air-quotes as I felt a blush rush to my face. “His name is Casey.”

  RJ just grimaced. He pointed a finger at me, glaring. “Well, next time you and Casey want to be alone together, try a storage closet. Not waiting for a blackout to go running around a psych hospital in the pitch darkness.”